I heard a little radio bit about the 10 miler this morning, and got suddenly depressed. I am NOT okay with not running it. Two years ago, when I was newly pregnant with Sami and just too sick and exhausted to run it, I cheerfully volunteered on race day. But this year, I'm just going to try to pretend that it's not even going on. It's going to be too hot, anyway.
What gets me the most about this is that there's no one good reason why I'm not running. It's death by a thousand cuts. If I hadn't had the first case of strep, or the second. If I hadn't had the flu on the way back from Vegas. If I hadn't had the hurt toe. If I hadn't pulled my side carrying my luggage through the airport. If my hip hadn't started hurting again. If one of those things, or one of so many other little setbacks hadn't happened, I might be running on Saturday. I wish I could point to one thing and say, this, this is the thing that's keeping me from running. It's none of them, and all of them.
Truthfully, it's crossed my mind more than once to just pick up my packet on Friday and go run. I did 3 miles on Saturday, plus a pretty vigorous athletic conditioning class at the gym that's got to be equivalent to another 3. I feel pretty good right now. A few creaks here and there, but nothing insurmountable. The problem is I just don't have the "hay in the barn" as another running blogger put it. Running 10 miles 2 weeks after a 2 week hiatus, after 3 months of interrupted training is just not smart. Yeah, I could get through Saturday, but at what cost?
My physical happens to be Thursday, and hopefully I'll come out of there with the confidence and PT referral I need to keep my eyes on the road ahead, not just the next step in front of me.
The next round of races that I'm looking toward is fall. Fall is lousy with halfs and fulls around here, plus a smattering of 10K's and the like. It's a long way till then, and without the high of the 10 miler to draw from, it's going to be really tough going to make it through the summer. I'll admit to feeling a little bit lost right now. I run to reach goals, and having not reached my goal, it makes the next one harder to set, let alone reach.
I think I'll take a few days to just wallow in it, but then it's moving on, my eyes up ahead on the road, thinking of autumn.
1 comment:
Hang in there! I know it's difficult but there is always another race around the corner. You're doing the right thing by hanging back and waiting for autumn. I myself am going to the ortho on Thursday to see if I need to take a step back. Luckily, nothing that I'm considering is before October...but still, taking time off sucks. *hugs*
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